Delighted to learn that his new wallpaper was washable, the moron was furious when the very first time he washed it, it was snatched from the clothesline.

Going to the travel agent’s office, the moron said, “I’d like a round-trip ticket, please.”
“Where to?” the agent asked.
“Why, back here, naturally.”

After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his socks was a bottle of cognac.
“Nothing to declare but clothing, huh?”
“Right,” Mark extemporized. “That, madam, is my nightcap.”

Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A. A shadow