There are two cows out in a field in Britain. One cow turns to the other and asks, "Are you worried about this Mad Cow disease?" The other cow responds, "Nope." The first cow exclaims, "How can you say that? Cows all over England are getting it. I'm scared stiff!" The other cow just looks at him and says, "Mad Cow disease, why should I be worried? I'm a helicopter."

There are two cows out in a field in Britain. One cow turns to the other and asks, "Are you worried about this Mad Cow disease?" The other cow responds, "Nope." The first cow exclaims, "How can you say that? Cows all over England are getting it. I'm scared stiff!" The other cow just looks at him and says, "Mad Cow disease, why should I be worried? I'm a helicopter."

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
"Are you sure?", the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet.Isn't there anything else you can do?"
The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do."
He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog.
The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
"Well, that confirms it." the vet announced. "Your dog is dead."
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"
"That will be $330." the vet replied.
"I don't believe it!", screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330????"
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."