Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?

A: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.

A man in a bar is enjoying his drink when he hears a voice say, "You look great!" He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He hears the voice again, "No, really, you look just terrific!" Again he looks around. Nobody.

A few minutes pass, and again he hears the voice, "Is that a new shirt or something? Because you look absolutely stunning!" At this point the man realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar.

"Hey," the man calls to the bartender. "What's with these nuts?"

"Oh," the bartender answers, "they're complimentary."

Q: Men often brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very
moment for their call. Who are these women?

A: Women who answer 900 numbers

Q: Men often brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very
moment for their call. Who are these women?

A: Women who answer 900 numbers