Mindy: "I hear that the famous actress Gloria Manybucks has been voted Housekeeper of the Year again."
Missy: "Really?"
Mindy: "Yes, whenever she gets a divorce, she keeps the house."
Teacher: "Your spelling is really improving, Henry, I only counted three mistakes."
Henry: "That's great!"
Teacher: "And now, let's check the second sentence."
A man is buying a suit from a local tailor. "I need to warn you," he says, as the tailor is taking his measurements. "That I won't be able to pay for this suit for three months."
"That's quite all right, sir," the tailor replies.
"By the way," the man asks, "when will it be ready?"
"In three months."
Lisa: "My son is a waiter."
Rose: "Oh, he works in the food industry?"
Lisa: "No, he always keeps us waiting."