Harry: "I've just discovered oil."
Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"
Harry: "Leaking from our old car."
Little Johnny's mother was baking cookies one day. As she began to put a new batch in the oven, she suddenly noticed Johnny staring at the already baked cookies lying on the table.
"Johnny," she said. "Are you trying to take a cookie?"
"No," Johnny replied. "I'm trying not to."
Little Johnny had left the house to meet his friends without asking his mother. Once he came home, his mother was not pleased.
"Johnny," she said, "if you wanted to go to the park with your friends, why didn't you come and ask me first?"
"Because," Johnny replied, "I wanted to go to the park with my friends."
Jane Benson returned home from college one day to see her family. While chatting together at dinner, her five year old brother Joey overheard Jane speaking about her boyfriend William. "I thought his name was Billy." Joey said.
His mother replied, "William is another name for Billy, dear."
That night, before Joey went to bed, Jane came to see him. "Would you like me to read you an anecdote?" she asked. Joey tilted his head curiously. "What's an anecdote?"
"An anecdote is a tale." Jane replied.
After reading Joey his bedtime story, Jane gets up to leave. "Would you like me to douse the light?" she asked. Joey looked at her curiously again. "What's douse mean?"
"Douse means to put out." Jane replied.
The next day, Jane took her younger siblings to a local petting zoo. "How was the petting zoo?" their parents asked upon their return home.
"It was great!" Joey replied. "I saw a William goat get into one of the cages, but one of the keepers took him by the anecdote and doused him."