How do fleas travel?
They itch-hike.
What insect stays healthy all the time?
Vitamin Bee.
What do bugs use to add things in school?
Moth-matics.
What do you call an insect that smells nice?
A deodor-ant.
A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.
He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”
When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.
“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”
A golfer was enduring the most miserable round. Every shot he tried seemed to end in disaster. He and his caddie had trailed in and out of woodland, deep rough, a lake and countless sand traps. On the seventeenth hole he was left with a shot of 180 yards to the green.
“Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?” he asked his caddie.
The caddie sighed, “Eventually.”