Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “All right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, right click on ‘My Computer’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
Because it was my brother’s birthday, our mom wanted to do something special. She called his fraternity house and said she wanted to bring a cake. The young man who took the call was very excited. "Hey, Mrs. Schaeffer," he said, "that would be great!"
The next day she drove to the fraternity and rang the doorbell. The same boy answered the door. When he saw the cake, his face fell. "Oh," he said, clearly disappointed. "I thought you said ‘a keg.’"
A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position.
"I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?"
"Well, I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional."
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.
"He's a fake!" Veronica told her friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!"