Why did the stop light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
Mom: Son, why don’t you talk to Mark anymore? You used to be best friends.
Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs, and is an alcoholic?
Mom: Of course not.
Son: Well, neither would he.
When I was 20, "What am I doing here?" was an important existential question.
Now that I am 66, "What am I doing here?" involves staring at an open refrigerator.
If you see someone buying candy, popcorn, and soda at the movies, they must be a drug dealer...
There's no other explanation for that type of income!