My wife asked me before going to the hairdressers, "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"
"A power cut" was apparently the wrong answer.
Father to Daughter: It's a good thing you chose to takes accounting at school.
Daughter: How come?
Father: Because I want you to account for coming home at five am this morning.
Why did the boy throw butter out the window?
Because he wanted to see a butter fly!
"I'll have an H2O," says the first.
"I'll have an H2O too," says the second.
The second man dies.