Steve met the family doctor on the street.
"I hear your wife has gone to Palm Beach for her health," began the doctor. "What did she have?"
"Eight hundred dollars her father gave her," answered Steve.
The pastor who had accepted an invitation to officiate at the Sunday service in a neighboring towns church. He entrusted the Sunday service at his church to the new appointed curate. Upon his return he ask his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon.
"It was the poorest one I ever heard," was her prompt reply, "nothing in it at all."
Later in the day he saw the curate and ask how he had got along.
"Oh, very well. I didn't have time to prepare my own sermon so I used one of your unused ones."
Jerry was sitting down for breakfast one morning when he was astonished to see in the paper an announcment of his own death.
He called his friend at once, "Jim, have you seen the announcement of my death in the paper?"
Jim replied, "Yes, and exactly where are you calling from?"
What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your WEEDER!