Interviewer: "What would you consider one of your strengths?"
Me: "I perform under pressure..."
Interviewer: "Can you get give me an example?"
Me: (deep breath) "Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu ba de PRESSURE, pushing down on me..."
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
My Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything!
My wife just completed a 40-week body building routine...
It's a baby boy, weighing 7 pounds!