A man said to a long-haul truck driver, "I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel."
"Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window."
My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
There was a catastrophic cyber attack recently.
The government is still looking for the hacker.
I think they ran some where.
The wedding was a beautiful affair and the reception equally stunning, the guests had all settled down with drinks in hand. A prayer for the food and a toast to the young couple was requested from the 100 year old Matriarch of the family.
A beautiful prayer was then said extolling the wonderful young couple and how hopes for a long married life would follow with many blessings of children.
Next the toast was started with the traditional request to raise your glasses high, the Grandmother then started: "One is sufficient, two at the most, three I'm under the table, and four I'm under the host."