As the plane approached the runway for takeoff, the pilot came on the overhead speakers...
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome! We are third in line for takeoff, but don't worry, I think I can beat'em."
Arriving at the airport my buddy looked visibly shaken. I asked him, "Are you okay? What's the matter?"
Looking bewildered, he replied, "It'll pass. Every time I have to fly, I get a terminal illness."
Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles.
In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy. They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't.
The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve PEANUTS on this flight."
I don't always ride in passenger jets but when I do I buy a first class ticket...
The thing is, flying scares me but in first class they hand out free "bravery beverages"!