airplane jokes

Cabin temperature: 72 degrees
Stewardess: “Complimentary blanket, sir?”
Traveler: “No way, I’m boiling in here!”

Cabin temperature: 68 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $5!”
Traveler: “Nah, I’m warm enough, thanks!”

Cabin temperature 64 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $20!”
Traveler: “No thanks, I’m tough!”

Cabin temperature 60 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $50!”
Traveler: “Yeah, ok, I’ll take 3!”

During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem.

Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away.

Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated for them. After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement

"We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should exit the plane at this time."

A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."

"Kulua Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...

... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."