bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke A bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
It's ten below zero one early spring day in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab."
"Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week."
"That's okay," says the bartender. "I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall."
"But," says Pat, "I don't want any of my friends to see that."
"They won't," says the bartender. "I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid."
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar. Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly so irate?"
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate."
My friends and I were doing Tequila shooters last night and decided to take a cab to the Standup Comedy Club for open mic night.
My friends encouraged me to get up on the stage and give it a try so I did. The people were in hysterics, everyone in the place was cracking up making sure to point me out to their friends.
When I got up this morning things were a bit hazy but I do remember how I brought the house down last night at the comedy club. A sense of pride was coming over me until my friend just called and told me we had reservations for the comedy club tonight.
I told him we went there last night and he laughed. He said they were booked last night so all of us went over to that new Karaoke place across town.
Free Daily Joke