entertainment jokes

If you see someone buying candy, popcorn, and soda at the movies, they must be a drug dealer...

There's no other explanation for that type of income!

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man, and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

What is the opposite of stand up comedy?

A Sitcom.

Why did James Bond have gray hair?

Because he had no time to dye.