kid jokes

Teacher: "Lean, how old were you on your very last birthday?"
Lean: "Seven."
Teacher: "Then how old will you be on your next birthday?"
Lean: "Nine."
Teacher: "That's impossible!"
Lean: "No, teacher, I'm 8 today!"

One man asked a schoolboy, "How old is your father?"
The boy replied, "He is 8 years old."
Man: "What?"
Boy: "Because he became a father when I was born 8 years ago."

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. 
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. 
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"

A mother was talking to her three year-old daughter about animals.
The mother asked, "How does the cow sound?"
The three year old said, "Moo!"
The mother asked, "How does a duck sound?"
The three year old answered,"Quack!"
The mother asked, "How does a frog sound?"
The three year old said, "Bud!!!"