school jokes

The Feron psychiatric hospital was also a teaching and research institute. Today marked the first day of a new semester. After the students arrived in class, Professor McDoogle introduced herself. She then said, "Please take out a blank sheet of paper and write down you’re deepest thoughts concerning this question: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

The students seemed to be rather puzzled and some even started to giggle a little bit. This was swiftly ended by a stern word from the teacher explaining this paper would result in a third of their grade. She went on to say it may be the most important object lesson they’ll ever learn during their education process. Realizing this was serious and must hold profound meaning far beyond the questions exterior. At this the students began to bare down and search for a solution with great veracity.

Forty five minutes later the students were producing pages of written dialog. Each thought seemed to pose deeper and more complex avenues of discovery as their quest intensified in epic proportion. Just then an orderly poked his head into the classroom.

"There you are, Mrs. McDoogle, we’ve been worried about you. I see you’ve been switching class room numbers again!"

"How was your first day of seventh grade son?"

"It was great Mom, I found out I’ll be learning sex education in my astronomy class. The teacher asked if we had a favorite star and also said beginning tomorrow we’ll be discussing heavenly bodies!"

Question: What’s the difference between a software problem and a hardware problem in laymen terms?

Answer: A software “problem” is like joining the debate team and finding out your first opponent was last years champion.

A hardware “problem” is like joining the wrestling team and finding out your first opponent is the captain of the other team and his name happens to be G.O. Rilla.

Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him. This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in - late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again, and get it right this time!"

So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in. Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room. He slammed the door behind him, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, didya?"