Best Jokes

“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,” said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
“Oh, good,” said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?”

“Sir, there’s a debt collector in the outer office.”
“Tell him he can take that pile on my desk”

“How long will be the next bus be, Officer?”
“About eight yards, sir.”

Customer: This loaf is lovely and warm!
Baker: So it should be ma’am. The cat’s been sitting on it all morning!