Best Jokes

Husband: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?
Wife: I would if you could make dough like your father!

Doug had just formed his own rock band, and his little brother said one day,
“Doug, I wish you and your band could be on TV!”
“You think we’re good, eh?”
“Then I could turn you off!”

“Hello, Ginger!” Her brother called cheerily to his sister.
“Don’t call me Ginger!” she snapped furiously. “My hair is the color of gold.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a jeer, “twenty-two carrots!”

“What is your occupation?” asked the judge.
“I’m a locksmith, your honor.”
“And what were you doing in the jeweler’s shop at three in the morning when the police officers entered?’
“ I was making a bolt for the door!”