Mr. and Mrs. Smith were celebrating their silver anniversary with a big party, at which the center of attraction was a huge cake. “This cake was made by my wife’s fair hands,” said Mr. Smith proudly. “Every year on our anniversary she makes a cake, and I like to think of them as milestones on our journey through life ….”
One guy says to another, “Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced.”
“Did you see a lawyer?”
“No, I got married.”
A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room.
“How on earth did you manage to do that?” he fumed.
“Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!”
“So”, thundered Larry’s furious father, “you’ve been expelled from college, have you?
“Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”