Best Jokes

A couple was having a party at their house. An hour before the party the woman found out that she still needed escargots. So she sent her husband out to get it. He was walking to the supermarket and he figured he had lots of time. So he stopped at the bar on the way. An hour and a half later he looked at his watch and realized that the party had already started. He quickly ran to the market, bought the snails and ran home. He tried to sneak into the kitchen without his wife seeing him. But at that moment his wife came out. He quickly threw the snails on the floor and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there."

Boy: Did you eat Lucky Charms this morning?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Cause you're looking magically delicious!

1. You know you're over the hill when you are arranging your hair instead of combing it.
2. You know you're over the hill when your idea of a good workout is standing up.
3. You know you're over the hill when you start picking your teeth out of the popcorn.

A man was sitting at an interview, in his new suit, looking his very best. As he put his hands down to make a point, he and his interviewer noticed the price tag was still attached to the sleeve. "Well", the man said, "at least I can take the suit back if I don't get the job.