What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass???
“Oh carp!”
Traffic cop: "Your license, please."
Motorist: "Pardon me, I'm afraid I forgot."
Traffic cop: "You forgot and left it at home?"
Motorist: "No, forgot to get one."
As I walked into work my boss greeted me with, "Today is going to be a great day! Can't you feel it?"
I did.
I went home.
Two nudists were discussing politics.
One says, “Have you read Marx?”
The other nods, “It’s these blasted wicker chairs."