What do you call a person wearing ear plugs?
Anything you want. They can't hear you.
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash?
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
And that's when the fight started....
Two young boys were out playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.
"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.
" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"
A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.
His wife thought about this for a while.
She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Her husband looked stunned. He said, "What?"