My dry cleaner very generously provides a stack of free newspapers for his customers.
As I took my copy, I told him, "I hope the business grows enough to offset the cost of the papers."
Oh, don't worry about us," he chuckled. "Nothing dirties clothes more than newsprint."
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Abraham Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln who?
Wait! You don’t know who Abraham Lincoln is?
Why should most electronic appliances not be shipped by air?
Because they need to be grounded.
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked... in a parallel universe."