What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor?
A knight light.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
My wife calls me handsome...
Every payday she says to me, "Hand some over!"
I don't think I'll attend Christmas dinner this year...
My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she going to make a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.