Latest Jokes

Patient: Doctor, doctor I have only 58 seconds to live!!!!!!
Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute

An old man always had his dog chained up, and one day he decided to take the dog out hunting with him. Since the dog has been chained up for so long it ran for a chance at freedom. The man ran after the dog hoping to catch it. The dog ran over a cliff. The man said, "dog gone it."

Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is a place where the police are German; the chefs are English; the car mechanics are French; the lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.

Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.