Visiting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in bed, anxiously leafing through the Bible.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Looking for loopholes,” was the lawyer’s reply.
A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story.
“Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer.
“Yes, yes,” the man replied.
“Oh! I would not listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She does not know anything about cars.”
Did you hear about the rock n’ roll singer who wore a hearing aid for four years?
Then he found out he only needed a haircut.
Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Everyone knows what ought to be done with the neighbor’s kids.