An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?" She didn't answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer. Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "for the third time yes!!!"
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.
He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you calling from?"
US Ship: - (at night)"Move out of my way"
Canadian ship: -"No. We cant"
US ship: - "Ours is an important big ship with attacking equipments"
Canadian ship: -"We are a light house on a small island. We cannot move"
Q: What do you get when you rewind a country song?
A: You get your house back, your truck back, your wife back and your dog back!