Latest Jokes

The vocalist was practicing in the church with all the windows open.
As she stepped outside what a whiff of fresh air, she noticed the gardener trimming the shrubs. “How did you like my execution?” she asked.
The gardener without turning to look at her said, “I’m in favor of it.”

Looking down at his patient, the doctor decided to tell him the truth. “I fell that I must tell you: You are a very sick man. I’m sure you would want to know the facts. I don’t think you have much time left. Now, is there anyone you would like to see?”
Bending down toward the sick man, the doctor heard him softly answer, “Yes.”
“Who is it?”
In a little stronger tone, the patient said, “Another doctor.”

A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions”
His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately”

Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the…..”