Latest Jokes

At a court date the judge asked, “What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?”
“Well, your honor,” replied the arresting officer, “I saw him lift up the manhole cover and walk away with it, and when I asked him what it was for he said, “I want to listen to it on my record player.”

“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,” said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
“Oh, good,” said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?”

Why did the idiot throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!

A young bride tells her friend, “Paul keeps telling everyone he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.”

The friend replies, “What a shame, and after all the time you’ve been engaged too.”