Latest Jokes

Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"

Customer: What does this fly at the bottom of my cup mean?
Waiter: It means that the fly does not know how to swim!

A policeman finds someone crawling on all fours in the middle of the street. The cop approaches him and asks him, "What on earth do you think you’re doing?" The man on the floor replies, “I’ve lost it." The policeman asks him curiously, "lost what?" The man on the floor answers, "well (hiccup) my balance sir."

A woodpecker was pecking a whole in a tree. All of a sudden, a flash of lightening struck the tree to the ground! The woodpecker looked bemused for a moment and then said: "Gee, I guess I don't know my own strength!"