Latest Jokes

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water. One day, just as they were finally about to give up, they crawled into a clearing and there right in front of them stood a Cannibal's Restaurant. Out front near the entrance was a large menu board. With the little energy they had left, they dragged themselves across the clearing and looked up to see the following menu:
Par boiled Priest $12.00
Roast Lion Hunter $14.00
Steamed Politician $198.50

They struggled in, dragged themselves to a table, and a waiter came to take their order. Before they ordered, one of the explorers asked the waiter "Can you help me understand your menu? The first two items are priced about the same, but the third item, the politician, is priced so much higher. Why is that?"

"Are you kidding?" replied the waiter, "Did you ever try to clean one of those suckers?"

Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat?
Mom ! I see an angel.

My son's kindergarten class was asked to draw self-portraits for a class
project. My son of course followed the instructions but as he proudly
passed in his "Monet” the teacher was astonished - He had drawn himself
Naked... The Teacher called him to her desk and asked "Jordan, What is this?"
He replied, "If you don't know what it is then I'm not going to tell you."

Doctor: "Good news you passed your hearing test!"
Patient: "HUH"