Latest Jokes

After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the driver of the other vehicle was drunk.

He told me the other vehicle was a cow.

Teacher: According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Every time he tried to eat of the fruit a large wolf snarled said “Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.” Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma?

Little Johnny: Sometimes it’s ok to settle, prunes aren’t all that bad.

Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me,...

So from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller!

As I scratch off my numbers on my ticket, I get to thinking. Can a person be rich even with little or no money?

Money is said to buy happiness and the rich are happy, right? The rich never worry nor are they greedy, right? The rich need personal security to protect them and their assets, right? The rich don’t need walls to protect their property, right? The rich never have family asking for financial support, right? The rich contribute great amounts to help others, right? The rich are smarter, right? Being rich attracts great and genuine love, right?

Wait a second... Hold on... I just won the lottery… I JUST WON THE LOTTERY!!!

Just ignore the above!