I asked a supermarket worker where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see" and walked away.
He never came back. When I saw another supermarket worker, I asked him. He said, "I'll see" and walked away. He never came back either.
I got tired of waiting and started looking up and down every aisle. I finally found them.
They were in Aisle C.
What did one bank robber say to her partner when she managed to get them caught?
"Who ever said that crime doesn't pay must have worked with you!"
Just as I arrived home after working the night shift, my wife told me to go checkout our five-year-old son's bed. When I entered Jimmie's room, I saw that his bed had collapsed and the mattress was sitting on the floor.
"What happened?" I asked him.
He responded, "God did it."
Interesting, I thought, and went back to tell my wife. Laughing she said that when she had heard the crash, she ran into Jimmie's room, saying, "Oh God, what have you done now?"
The little boy scurried into the mom & pop grocery store with a worried look on his face, handing the clerk a dollar bill.
"What’s this for, sonny?"
"Momma says all she wants is peas and quiet... do you have that?"