Wife: peck, peck… peck-peck-peck, that old Royal Typewriter drives me nuts. I wish you’d get rid of it and just type on your desk top and print it out like everyone else.

Husband: I just can’t get rid of it. This old typewriter is like a dear friend that has served me well.

Wife: Like an old friend that served you well? Pray tell dear husband, if you can name one instance of actual service I’ll never complain again.

Husband: I can name two things off the top of my head. It got me an early retirement; the incessant peck peck peck, drove my boss nuts too.

Wife: OK, I’ll give you that one but what’s the other thing?

Husband: You did say you’d quit complaining right?