Why are cats so bad at video games?

Because they can only press paws.

A guy and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed.
Mom says "This is horrible, what should we do?"
Dad goes, "Well we can't spank him!"

[The next day, again] Buddha walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor then hands him the hot dog and Buddha pays him with a ten.

The vendor puts it in his till and moves on to the next customer.

Buddha says, "What about my change?"

The vendor replies, "change comes from within".