While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real father," she said, startling the whole family.
"Yes, he is!" Andy replied.
"No, he's not," Jennifer insisted. "God is your heavenly father."
Then pointing at her dad, she said, "That's your homely father!"
A cop pulled over two drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?"
"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."