Superman blames technology for his slow response to high crime.
"Look around folks, there isn't a phone booth in sight."
I bet my friends I'd witnessed a 200 pound flying squirrel streaking above the bright lights of Hollywood...
I ended up losing that bet, it turned out to be Superman leaving a costume party.
A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use."
After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.”