Billy: Though my Aunt is very dear to me the truth is, no one likes her homemade pudding except you Johnny. Tell me why you always get a double helping and also take the leftovers home?
Johnny: I use it to patch the cracks in my driveway; it lasts for years.
Teacher: What are you grateful for?
Megan: I’m grateful for the big man upstairs.
Little Johnny: Not me, the big man upstairs drives me nuts! He practices river dancing every night for an hour.
Teacher: Little Johnny, did you finish your reading assignment?
Little Johnny: No, but I don't like to read.
Teacher: Have you ever heard of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln or Bubba B. Snodgrass?
Little Johnny: Who is Bubba B. Snodgrass?
Teacher: He's a guy that didn't like to read.
The IRS is out of control...
Now that I'm older, they've even taxed my memory!