First man: I wonder how long a person can live without a brain?
Second man: How old are you?
Customer: I'd like some poison for mice please.
Chemist: Have you tried Boots?
Customer: I want to poison them, not kick them to death.
Customer : I'd like to try that dress in the window.
Assistant : I'm sorry madam, I'm afraid you'll have to use the fitting room, like everybody else.
Boy : I lost my dog!
Girl : Well, why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?
Boy : What's the good of that my dog can't read?