Lou: Hey Joe. I know the score of any professional sports score before it happens.
Joe: No you don’t. That’s impossible.
Lou: Wanna bet?
Joe: Okay Lou. What’s the score of the Patriots vs the Rams game before it happens?
Lou: That’s easy. The score of the Patriots vs the Rams game is going to be 0-0 BEFORE it happens.
"I lost twenty pounds in one day."
"How did you do that?"
"I left my lunch on the bus."
Dear Monday,
Just saying, your friends Saturday and Sunday are just more fun.
Nothing personal.
A guy brings a dog to a bar and says he’s the smartest dog in the world.
Guy asks him: Name a character from West Side Story?
Dog: Riff Riff!
Guy asks him: What covers a building or a house?
Dog: Roof Roof!
Guy asks him: Who’s the best baseball player ever?
Dog: Ruth Ruth!
Bartender kicks them both out of the bar.
Dog: What went wrong? Should I have said Cy Young?