”Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!”
”Keep it down, sir, or everyone will want one.”
A man goes into the doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I’ve swallowed a watch. What should I do?”
“Take these pills,” says the doctor. “They should help you pass the time.”
Wikipedia: “I know everything.”
Google: “I have everything.”
Facebook: “I know everybody.”
Internet: “Without me you’re nothing.”
Electricity: “Keep talking losers.”
Why is 'o' the noisiest vowel?
Because all the others are in audible.