I was watching the game at my parents home and I asked for something to eat. My dad said, "Go ahead and eat some of the peanuts in the bowl beside the chair."
I ended up eating them all and as I was leaving I said that I was sorry and would replace them. That's when dad said, "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."
While shopping in the produce department of the local grocery store, a demanding customer asked to have a watermelon cut in half.
I told the lady that we don't normally do this. After being pushed for about five minutes, I took the melon to the backroom and said to my co-worker John, "I need this cut in half so this mean lady can buy it."
I did not know that she had followed me to the backroom. I turned around and quickly said, "And this lady would like the other half!"