Jeff to son Jeffery: "Why don't you get your girlfriend a sun lamp?"
Jeffrey: "Why a sun lamp?"
Jeff: "Yes, I bought your mother one."
Jeffery: "She bakes herself with it?"
Jeff: "Yes. Yesterday she baked herself for six hours and now she is the toast of the town!"
"How is your Aunt Bobbie?" asked a family friend.
"She had her appendix taken out the other day," I informed her.
"Did they give her anything for it?"
"No," I answered, "it wasn't worth anything."
2 Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Mustang east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, Sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "Forget it, he's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
The farmers almanac has predicted a much colder winter than normal.
I have been observing squirrels and they are collecting more nuts than normal.
Which makes me wonder where my 3 cousins have disappeared to???