A truck loaded with a thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed on the Interstate yesterday, shedding it's load across the highway.
You should've seen it, witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed!
Wife: "I have blisters on my hands from the broom."
Husband: (trying to be playful) "Next time take the car, silly."
A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The biggest and roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference...
Apparently he acquired his size from too much pi.