What did Mike Tyson's parents say when he told them that he wanted to be a boxer?
"Go ahead, knock yourself out!"
Don't ever tell a Doctor that you have the Bubonic Plague...
They'll look at you like you have the plague or something!
I was taking a stand-up comedy class but I had to quit...
My teacher was making me feel funny.
Of all the doctors, it's the egomaniac optometrists you've really gotta keep an "I" on!