Every time I go on vacation my wife gets pregnant...
This year I'm taking her with me!
My wife asked me why I call her 12?
Dozen cook, dozen clean, dozen do anything...
So my co worker just said: "You shouldn’t eat red meat!"
I said: "My grandfather lived to be 100yrs old."
He said: "Did he eat red meat?"
I said: "No, he minded his own business."
I'm no cactus expert...
But I know a prick when I see one.