How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
For years my sister’s husband tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to get a hearing aid.
“How much do they cost?” she asked one day after he had pitched the idea to her again.
“They’re usually about $3000,” he said.
“Okay, well if you say something worth $3000,” she replied, “I’ll get one.”
I freaked out the electrician by opening the door in just my underwear.
I couldn’t tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was practically naked or that I got into his house.
An English teacher asks Little Johnny: “Make an opposite of this sentence... ‘Kids in the dark usually make errors.’”
Little Johnny: “Errors in the dark usually make kids."