It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you... Sit up straight... Use your napkin... Close your mouth when you chew... Don’t lean back in your chair...”
Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.
In the public library, a man with his new library card questioned the pretty librarian.
“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that with this card I may take out any book I want?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“And may I take out record albums, too?”
“Yes, you may.”
“May I take you out?” he ventured.
Drawing herself up to her full height, she replied, “The librarians, sir, are for reference only.”
Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house, he found the friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. Finally his curiosity got the better of him.
“Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s cramming for finals.”
Child: Mom, do angels fly?
Mom: Yes, they do.
Child: Then why doesn’t our maid fly?
Mom: But she is not an angel.
Child: Yes, she is. Dad calls her angel.
Mom: Does he? All right, you will see her fly tomorrow.